How are you? It’s been ages since we last talked. I thought of you yesterday, and it made me tear up… but it also made me smile. Yes, smile. How’s life treating you? You seem really happy.
Question? Do you ever think of me ? Does something ever trigger a thought of me? When it does, do you brush it aside? Do you get nostalgic? Do you feel guilty? Or do you feel nothing?
Another question… whenever we run into each other and pretend that the other isn’t there… what goes through your mind? Do you feel uncomfortable? Disgusted? Indifferent?
In case you ever wonder… nowadays, I don’t want to cry my eyes out every time you cross my mind. And that stabbing pain I would feel all over? It’s pretty much gone too.
Lately, whenever you cross my mind, I start to feel nostalgic — but not in an I want you back kind of way. Nostalgic in a Wow, he was a great person to be friends with way. Friends. Can you believe that? I miss being friends with you. I want to believe that even if I wasn’t worthy of being loved by you, at least I am worthy of being loved by you as a friend. I should be, shouldn’t I? That’s the least you can give me, don’t you think?
For the most part, I want to believe I’m doing better. A LOT better. The last time I cried about you was a month ago. But I don’t even think I was crying about you… I was crying more for myself. I cried for how I was so unbelievably stupid and naive, and I cried for throwing everything away for you. But, the past is the past.
I almost cried last night when I thought of you, but the tears never left my eyes. I just blinked them back and I let it go.
If you talked to me today, I wonder if you would notice how different I am. Or would you be able to even realize it since you knew me so long ago.
Well I shouldn’t just ramble on and on. I’ll save it for the day we speak again, for the day we talk again.
Till we’re friends again,
— Me
since I have thought about you. It doesn’t hurt as much.
But, I saw pictures of her last night and I felt so ugly. She is so beautiful and naturally, at that.
She’s so pretty, and everyone loves her. She has the best life..she’s smart, she’s cute, she’s prettty, she’s probably funny, she has a nice personality, she knows what she wants. She’s not me.
You don’t deserve her, not after everything you’ve done to me and to other girls.
How is God / Life…whoever/whatever…how are they rewarding you for all the bullshit you have done and all the lives you have ruined…how are they rewarding you by giving you her?
